Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and a fantastic New Year.

I've slipped a little over the Christmas/New Year break. But nothing that can't be rectified. This week showed a 1.6kg loss, which quite frankly I just don't understand. The scales should definitely be showing a gain, but we all know that our bodies do some strange things. I'm sure next will let me know how I'm really going. i had a wonderful Chrissy with all my family, but working in retail means that I'm glad it's all over for another year. It's such a draining time, both physically and emotionally. Such a big build up for 1 day.



And some people can be just plain rude, I had customers that believed they were the only people celebrating Christmas this year and that everything should be available for them to purchase on the 24th December. (Ok maybe they didn't believe that but it certainly felt that way) Anyhoo, it's all over now and I really shouldn't grumble, these people keep me in a job and that's something that i'm truely grateful for.

So I'll post again soon, just wanted to let you all know I'm still about.

Till next time

Take Care

I'm Still Here

I'm not sure how many people out there follow my blog. But I'm sure that with no posts for the last 7 months that you've all thought, " Oh she's given up". Well no, that not the case. with work, and kids, and life I just haven't had time to do a great deal of anything.

My weight loss definitely slowed down over the winter months, but I'm pleased to say that I didn't gain. That in itself is a huge achievement. Since May I've lost another 9 kgs. Not a fantastic loss, considering the time frame. But it is loss all the same. The pace seems to have picked up over the last few weeks, since the weather has warmed up. So I'm hoping to shift a whole lot more over the summer.

My weight loss to date is 28.5 kgs, in 43 weeks. Here's hoping a shift a whole lot more in the next few months.

So much has happened since my last post, yet I can't think of much to write. we went on holidays in October to the beautiful Sunshine Coast. If I wasn't such a sook and wanted to be near my family, I would move there in a heartbeat. I love the Sunshine Coast so much, that I get depressed when I come home. All I can think of is when can we get back there.

I got my first tattoo while we were there. I've been carrying around a picture of a dragonfly for 2 years. I didn't want to jump in and then not like my tattoo in a few years time, so I looked at the picture alot before I got it done. i figured that seeings I still liked it after 2 years that it would be OK to get it permanently etched into my skin. I'll get a photo and post it soon. I'm very happy with it. But I've found it to be a little addictive, I'm already thinking about what to get next. Hmmm.....decisions, decisions.

Jack turned while we away. My how that time has flown. He's really developing his own little personality now, and I'm enjoying watching him explore his world. He's very independent, and yet still enjoys his snuggles with mum.

My sisters husband found himself a new partner via the Internet. That's all good and well, but he really should have left my sister first. He got caught out when she found some emails from his new love. Needless to say, they have separated, and now the kids are finding it difficult adjusting to not living with their dad. Men can be so selfish sometimes. I'm not going to rave on about the male species, I'm happily married. But jeez, do men really have to think with their pants and not their brain. Apparently he'd been carrying on this online "affair" for 4 months behind my sisters back. Bloody idiot, that's all I can say.

Let's see, what else has happened?.........Oh yeah I had my 34th birthday. Quite uneventful really. Just had a quiet night at home with the family. Originally I was planning a party but when the time came, it was the last thing I felt like doing. So a quiet night was had.

Lana turned 4. Of course a party was held for her, and she picked the most difficult cake out of the book, a Fairy Castle. But I followed the instructions very closely and I actually received lots of great comments. It wasn't really that hard, just very time consuming. (4 hours, of very tedious work) Lana was very happy with the finished product and that's all that matters. We hired a jumping castle for the party and the kids had a ball.

So that's all I can think of for now. My next post won't be in 7 months time. I will keep you all updated. Just please leave me a comment so I know I have some readers......please.

Take Care
Trace xx

It's Time

The day that I started this blog, I made a promise to myself. I promised that when I'd lost 20kg I would post some progress photo's. Well I hit the 20kg mark a few weeks ago, and I've been putting it off. So last week I got a workmate to take some photo's of me. Boy was I pleasantly surprised when I saw the photo's. I know that I have lost 20kg, but I don't feel like I really look any different. Thankfully I have taken progress photo's.

The photo's have made it seem real to me. I can actually see the results of my efforts.

These first photo's are what started this journey. This was my wake up call. I remember thinking that I didn't look great, but I felt OK. Then I saw the photo's.

This next lot were taken 4 weeks into my new lifestyle, and 6.7kg gone. I remember feeling really good about the changes I was making.

And these latest pics were taken just last week. With 21.6kg gone.

So that my friends, is my progress so far. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. After a few weeks of procrastination, I'm glad I finally got around to doing this post. It's given me a little more motivation. Hopefully it might motivate someone else out there too.



Till next time,

Take Care


Trace

Week 16 Weigh In

Well, I'm managed to lose another 800gms this week. I've been following this new lifestyle for 16 weeks now and I've got rid of 18.9kgs in total. I've got to say, that the last 16 weeks has flown by. It feels like only yesterday that I decided to turn my life around, and I'm so glad I did !! I'm still not on top of the whole exercise side of things, but food wise I'm just cruising. It really has been easier than I expected.

Darren has been so supportive in this whole process, and that makes it so much easier.On previous attempts at weight loss I've sometimes felt judged by him. But not once have I felt that this time. I sure don't feel like I'm living with the food police. He can't understand why he's not losing weight also, but I think it has something to do with the pies and sausage rolls he's been having for morning tea.

I've bought my 20kg charm already. I'm hoping to reach the 20kg mark next week so that I can put it on my bracelet. I've been tempted to put it on already, but no, I will wait. If I start putting the charms on early it's really not the same. I need some sort of celebration as I reach each 5kg milestone, and my charms are it.

We are off to the Monster Trucks in Tamworth on Saturday night. I'm really looking forward to it. We'll be child free so I plan on letting my hair down (just a little). Hopefully we'll squeeze in a bit of shopping while we're there. Our town is quite small, so there's not too many places to shop. The only major chains that we have here are our grocery stores and Target Country. And seeings that I manage the TC store I could just about tell you all the stock that we have. So it's nice to go shopping at some different stores. I'm sure this sounds quite dull to you lucky people that live in places with a variety of shops. But for me it's a little exciting. I tend to go a little overboard when I get there. But hey, you only live once.

Anyhoo, that's about it from me.
Till next time

Take Care
Trace

Life's toooo busy

Well, so much for trying to be more organised and making my next post sooner. It's been over a month since my last post!! Geez, how time flies. I knew I'd be busy when I went back to work, but life has been so hectic it's just not funny.

So now I have some down time, and thought I should catch up with some things.

Easter has come and gone, and I didn't have one hot cross bun. They are my favourite part of Easter. But, they must be dripping with butter. So I thought it would be best if I steered clear of them altogether. I reckon I probably ate 2 or 3 dozen last year, so I feel very proud.

I'm totally back into the swing of things at work. It feels like I never left. The kids are loving going to Gran's and getting spoilt. I'm really lucky that I have a mother-in-law that I get on with really well. She can't do enough to help us out, and I don't know what I'd do without her. My mum and sister also help out with the kids, and they too are lifesavers. With both Darren and I working full-time, it's nice that Lana and Jack can still be around family.

Food wise at work has been a breeze. Being prepared is the key. My locker is loaded with low point snacks, so I never feel deprived. There's plenty to eat if I'm ever hungry, and I don't need to take the "easy option" of getting a sausage roll from the bakery across the road. I'm pleased to say that I haven't been tempted once. I've even been out to lunch several times and made sensible choices.

It all seems to come so naturally now. There's no inner struggle over good food/bad food. I just know what's better for me, and that's what I choose. It really is that simple.

Exercise wise I'm not doing so well. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses, but I just can't find the time. I'm awake at 5:30 with Jack. Ready for work and out the door by 7:15. Then I'm usually not home until 6:30. Then it's time for tea, kids to bed, do a load of washing. I usually go to bed by 9:30(I'm not a night owl), and then I'm up once or twice a night with Jack.

I'm trying to walk more at work, and I'm going to get a pedometer. I'm sure having one will encourage me to move more. Once Jack gets a bit bigger I'm hoping to fit more time in for me. But for now, I think the pedometer is the best option.

Well that's a real random post about nothing really, but a post all the same. I promise to make my next post sooner rather than later.

Till next time, take care

Trace

Returning to Work

I'm heading back to work on Monday and I thought I should try and get a post done, before I really have no spare time. After having 6 months off on maternity leave I have mixed emotions about my return. I am looking forward to not having to budget so strictly. I just know that I need to be super organised.

I went to the gym this week !! I've been going to a mothers group run by the community health service. And this week was a visit to the gym. Everyone took their babies and the community nurse also came to help. So it turns out that I had a great time. I was surprised at how nervous I was walking into the gym. But once I got through the front doors, I was fine. Turns out that I actually enjoyed it and I'm going back. I'm going to join for 1 month, to make sure that I really do enjoy it, and that I have the will power to go at least twice a week. If I go 2 times a week, then it's worth having a membership. So after that I will take out a membership.

I found some old photos last week, that date back to Dec '07. I figure I was about 100kg in the photo's and I think I looked pretty good. But I remember feeling big even at that weight. Of course I was still overweight, but I looked pretty healthy. It got me thinking about why I felt that way, and what has happened since then that has contributed to my weight gain. There's a few things that come to mind. So when I get a bit more time, I'll post the photo's and spill my guts on the last few years. A bit of self therapy never hurt anyone. and maybe it's just what I need.

I'm a little nervous about returning to work. I sort of feel like I'm starting a new job, not returning to my old one. The Manager that filled in for me has done a fantastic job. He's implemented some changes that have really improved the day to day running of the store. He's a single guy and he spent ALOT of time at the store. He transferred from another town, just for the 6 months, so he seemed to spend his spare time at the store. I guess I'm feeling pressure ( mainly from myself) to maintain the level of commitment that he has shown. Now I know in reality that's just not possible. I have a family and other commitments besides work. I just feel like I need to prove myself now that I've had another baby. Again, this is all internal, and hopefully once I actually get back into it, and establish my own routine, I'll feel heaps better.

I'm also nervous about my eating. While I'm at home I don't face temptations on a daily basis, because I simply don't keep them in the house. But at work, we have the bakery just across the road. The staff often do a McDonalds run for MORNING TEA !! I know I need to be prepared. So I'm going shopping tomorrow for work snacks. If I load my locker with low point snacks I should be fine. One of the girls at work has just started Weight Watchers too, so hopefully we can keep each other focused. I've made alot of changes in the lst 10 weeks, and I'm not about to undo them. I also think that if I go to the Gym it will reinforce to myself that I need to make healthy choices.

That's about it from me. I'll try to be more organised and make my next post a bit sooner.

Take Care
Trace

Don't You Quit

I found this post on the WW threads a few days ago and I really wanted to share it.

DON'T YOU QUIT
When you've eaten to much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town,
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy & thin.
So what! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So DON'T YOU QUIT!
It's a moment of truth, its an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself "You've done great up til now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow.
"It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal,
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
if you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the strugglers, when losing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip,
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won!
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you to grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink,
just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it...
ButDON'T YOU QUIT!!!
'Author Unknown'

I've read through this poem several times and I find it really inspiring. I've had a couple of days this week where the scales have been creeping upwards instead of down.I haven't been over my points at all and it's extremely frustrating. I know that this could be to due to any number of reasons. But there's been several moments where I've thought, " Well why am I bothering ? ". Thankfully these are only fleeting moments and I soon slap myself around the face and come back to reality.

I'm "bothering" because I'm sick to death of being morbidly obese, and I'm the only person that can do anything about it. I'm "bothering" because I want a life, I don't want to,not do things because I'm overweight. I want to be able to do whatever I damn well please. I'm "bothering" because I deserve this, and why should I settle for anything less. But most of all I'm "bothering" beacuse I'm just plain fed up with making excuses.

I've been reading some really inspiring blogs this morning and they really help me get into the right frame of mind. If I have a gain this week, it's not because I haven't tried. It's simply because "shit happens". I'm not going to raid the fridge and undo all the good that I've done. I'm going to keep going, and I will see the results eventually. This isn't an overnight trip that I'm on. It's a life time journey, and if I've got anything to do with it, it's going to be a long life.

Till next time
Trace

Weigh In

Weighed in yesterday and I managed to wipe another 1.1kg off my stats. I'm more than happy with this. Darren and I went out on Saturday night and I had quite a few to drink. So I was going to be happy with any downward turn in the scales. It made me realise that I don't have to stop enjoying myself in order to lose weight. On previous attempts at weight loss, I have tried to give up everything, and it just doesn't work. I just need to incorporate my new way of thinking into some of the things I enjoy. So I no longer drink rum and coke on tap (at 31/2 points per glass), it's now rum and coke zero. (at 1 point per glass). It's really just little changes, nothing drastic.

I'm into week 6 now and I really don't feel like I'm struggling food wise. I think I've finally realised that it doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I will always be living this lifestyle. I am struggling exercise wise. I love to swim and that's the exercise I've been doing up until last week. Since then it really hasn't been hot enough for a swim. I know I really need to go for a walk or something, but I just don't seem to be able to muster up the motivation. I think alot of the reason is that I've been losing weight anyway. Somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking "I don't need to exercise, I'm losing weight without it". I know this way of thinking is just stupid, it's just going to turn around and bite me on the bum. If I don't exercise the weight will come off slower. And I'm changing my lifestyle, and one of the changes I want to make is to do more exercise.It's about being healthier, not just losing weight. A friend of mine asked me if I'd consider going to the gym. I think I would, just not on my own. We are currently looking at some classes we can do together.

I have a goal in my mind and damn it, this time I'm going to succeed. I know there are times when I'm going to find it difficult, but I WILL SUCCEED. As Nat said on the WW thread, "she is going to be the 'after' women. " That's exactly what my goal is. I am going to fit all my body into one leg of my old trousers. I visualise this everyday. I really believe that I am going to do it this time. There is no other option. I will get this exercise on track. I guess I can't change everything about my life overnight, one step at a time. It's taken me a lifetime to form these habits, so it will take some time to create new ones.

Well that's my blurb for the day. Quite a whole lot of rambling really, but I enjoyed it all the same.

Till next time
Trace

This is me.

I've been reading quite a few bloggs lately, and i've realised that I really feel an extra connection to these people when I'm communicating with them on the WW threads. So I felt that I should let people know who I am. I'm not quite ready to post full length photo's of myself. But I'm sure I will one day.

I'm not sure how often I'll post. I'm hoping for at least once a week. And I'm not sure how interesting my posts will be, but here we go.

I'm into my fifth week of Weight Watchers and really starting to find my groove. Something about this time around feels different. ( This is my 3rd attempt) The only thing different that I can think of , is on my last attempts I wasn't aware of the WW threads and I was working. This time around I am on maternity leave. I still have 5 weeks to go before I go back to work, so I'll definetly be used to my new lifestyle by then.

That's the other thing that's different this time around. Right from the start I have looked at this as a lifestyle change. I AM NOT on a diet. I know that this is forever. That's where I went wrong on my last attempts, I figured that once I lost all the weight I could just go back to my "normal" eating. Well there was nothing "normal" about my way of eating and so, all the weight came back again, plus a bit more. Although I never actually lost all the weight before I went back to my old ways.

I've decided that I deserve this and so do my kids. I want to be able to run around with them, go on rides with them do all the things that thin people take for granted. I just want to be a healthy active mum. Not a couch potato. Since starting WW, I have taken my daughter for a swim in our pool about 4 times week. Before WW she was lucky if it was once. Her little face lights up with delight everytime I ask her if she wants to go for a swim. That in itself is a wonderful reward.

So this time I'm on the right track. I've got my friends on the WW thread to be accountable to, I have the VIP list and now I have this blogg. I want to succeed this time, and I really think it's going to happen.

In the past 4 weeks I've lost 6.7kgs. I think this is already a remarkable improvement. Of course no-one else has noticed yet(except hubby), but I'm not expecting anything for a while. I have a lot to lose so it may be a while before anyone notices. But that's not what I'm doing this for. I'm doing this for me.

Well, that's my introduction. Of course there's lots more to tell, but all in good time. I think I'm gonna be here for a while.

Till next time

Trace